you said that you were here and i believed you. but now those words seem to have disappeared just as you have and i’m left with traces of a past i want to be present. another message ignored; another insecurity restored – i sit and ponder and worry and wonder what i did wrong. i’m so confused. and yet i’m still here in this space which is perhaps denial but i thought it was patience because i’m waiting for you. still waiting. not so patiently waiting. the only thing comforting me that you will return is the memory of what was and the most deceiving emotion of them all – love. they say it’s blinding but then it’s so dark in here anyway i can’t tell. i can’t tell. or maybe i don’t want to tell. i want you to prove the voices and the people wrong and i know you can, don’t i?
another day’s gone; another day’s spent disconnected yet my wire is still affected by your frequencies. please come back. this silence is deafening.
do you remember that day? that day when, when i cried but you were there. you ran and we hugged and you were there. you made me me tea then we walked and talked and you were there. we listened to that get lucky song and it was so inappropriate at the time that we just laughed. i rested my head on your shoulder and nestled in your warmth and we sat in perfect silence together.
together we were unstoppable. we were going to rock it.
somewhere along the way we lost each other. i don’t know where and now i can’t find you but i keep seeing you in things, in memories, in emotions. my heart hurts as if it’s muscle has pulled after some strenuous exercise – the strenuous exercise of unrequited something. because it wasn’t love, was it? it was friendship, wasn’t it? maybe i was kidding myself i don’t know.
i watched a tv programme today and it reminded me of you and i missed you.
please come back. this silence is deafening.